there is no try

no, try not. there is only do or do not. there is no try.

my doggy went to doggy heaven

today is a sad sad day.
my precious bailey was put to sleep.
she was the best dog.
the kindest and most sweet.
i didnt get to say bye to her either.
it brings tears to my eyes.
i am going to miss her so much!
its sad to think when i go to my parents house next, she isnt going to be there greeting me with her loud, excited barks!
oh bailey.
at least you are no longer in pain.
i love you.
you are free.

new find

enjoying this artist i found.. lukid

cheeeeese!

doin' better, doin' better.
lookin' up, lookin' up!
smiiiiiiiile!!
as carlos reminds me :)
i am smiiiiling!!
excited for the weekend..

uncertainties

im lost.
and im unsure of why we do the things we do.
i guess its to get by.
to make a living.
but for what?
we are going to die.
so i guess while we are here, we should try to be good to ourselves and to others.
i feel i try to do this.
but this existence still finds myself lost.
the connections we have can make us feel more worthwhile.
but those arent always there.
i dont know what im here for.
does anyone?

connections lost

people come in and out of your life.
those so dear to you can be gone in a moment.
in a flash.
its there and then its gone.
ive been through many rough patches.
and i have many more to face.
sometimes in this life you can feel so alone, no matter who you have around.
point is, you are always alone.
i have to get used to it.

..............

its bad timing

oh, life

i need to clear my head and stop thinking too much.
once you think too much, you contradict yourself.
im tired of my mind being bombarded with thoughts.
thoughts that lead to confusion.
i laid out in the grass today and watched the clouds.
trying to sort through the things in my head.
it was pleasant.
if only life could be so simple.

faxing berlin

ohh, the memories this song brings back to my head.
it is purely amazing.
will forever bring a smile to my face.
will forever be special.
ahhhh!
<333

diggin' it

sometimes..

i really do not like having feelings.
the feelings ive been having lately have placed me in some complicated situations.
it is hard to know what to do about them.
you never know what kinds of things you will do until you experience it.
and you cant judge others for the things they choose to do because there is a reason they do it.
im in a sticky situation.
all around.
i have finally been able to push someone out of my life that hasnt needed to be there for a long time.
and a certain someone has helped me do that.
this is the first time i can see myself finding someone else again.
but the time is not right.
and others are hurt by the situation.
it completely sucks.
can i just seclude myself from all?
run away from it all?
nothing ever seems to work out for me.
im a lost lost soul..

hypocritical people

haha. with the things i have found out, i feel no remorse for what i feel.
at least my feelings are true and real.
and im working for something great with them.
fucking hypocrites.

go get him, cowgirl

i guess...

im a horrible horrible person.
kill me now.

FML

fuck my life

aquarium and fair weather friends

had an amazingggg time last night!
nosaj thing and daedelus came to perform here in the desert!
this is a pretty big thing considering we dont get crazy good music here.
ive had a favorite song by nosaj thing for a few years and i got to meet him last night!
he also played my song and daedelus played my song too.
i got those dancing shoes on and danced allll night long!
it was much needed.
i havent had a good dance sesh for a few months.
tiring indeed.
i was sweating like crazaaayyy! haha
but my night turned out so lovely.
the start of this month is looking so bright :D
all smiles, my friends, all smiles

its your life

You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.

it is february..

oh me, oh my!!
time fliesss.
its the premiere of LOST tonight.
wooop dee wooop!
and my susan miller is the fucking shiznat!!
its supposed to be a wonderful month.
i am looking forward to it :D