we tried.
push, pull, let go.
timing is everything.
you said so.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
letting go
To let go isnt to forget, not think about or ignore. It doesnt have feelings or anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isnt winning or losing. Its not about pride. Its not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Its not about loss or defeat. To let go is to cherish memories,but to overcome them and move on. Letting go is accepting. Letting go is having the courage to accept change. Letting go is growing up.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
red lights
It's hard to remember
What we did last November
It's hard to forget
What we haven't done yet
It's easy to let go
Of everything you know
And say goodbye
To all the sky
What we did last November
It's hard to forget
What we haven't done yet
It's easy to let go
Of everything you know
And say goodbye
To all the sky
all about love
"it is possible to speak with our heart directly. most ancient cultures know this. we can actually converse with our heart as if it were a good friend. in modern life we have become so busy with our daily affiars and thoughts that we have lost this essential art of taking time to converse with our heart" Jack Kornfield
"the search for loves continues even in the face of great odds"
"love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" Erich Fromm
"the cultural emphasis on endless consumption deflects attention from spiritual hunger. we are endlessly bombarded by messages telling us that our every need can be satisfied by material increase. artist barbara kruger created a work proclaiming 'i shop therefore i am' to show the way consumerism has taken over mass consciousness, making people think they are what they possess. while the zeal to possess intensifies, so does the sense of spiritual emptiness. because we are spiritually empty we try to fill up on consumerism. we may not have enough love but we can always shop" Bell Hooks
"organized religion has failed to satisfy spiritual hunger because it has accommodated secular demands, interpreting spiritual life in ways that uphold the values of a production-centered commodity culture. this is as true of the traditional christian church as it is of new age spirituality. it is no accident that so many famous new age spiritual teachers link their teachings to a metaphysics of daily life that extolls the virtues of wealth, privilege, and power" Bell Hooks
"when i speak of love i am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. i am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality. this hindu-moslem-christian-jewish-buddhist belief about ultimate reality is beautifully summed up in the first episode of saint john: 'let us love one another, for love is god and everyone that loveth is born of god and knoweth god'". Martin Luther King
"the mass media is the primary vehicle for the promotion and affirmation of greed; there is little information offered about the establishment and maintenance of meaningful relationships. if the will to accumulate is not already present in the television watcher or the movie-goer, it will be implanted by images that bombard the psyche with the message that consuming with others, not connection, should be our goal." Bell Hooks
"we cannot endure without love and there is no other way to the return of healing, comforting, harmonizing love than through total and complete forgiveness: if we want freedom and peace and the experience of love and being loved, we must let go and forgive." Eric Butterworth
"false notions of love teach us that it is the place where we feel no pain, where we will be in a state of constant bliss. we have to expose the falseness of these beliefs to see and accept the reality that suffering and pain do not end when we begin to love." Bell Hooks
" you have to trust that every friendship has no end, that a communion of saints exists among all those, living and dead, who have truly loved god and one another. you know from experience how real this is. those you have loved deeply and who have died live on in you, not just as memories but as real presences" Henri Nouwen
"without change, we cannot grow. our will to grow in spirit and truth is how we stand before life and death, ready to choose life" Bell Hooks
"love is our true destiny. we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone-we find it with another" Thomas Merton
"the search for loves continues even in the face of great odds"
"love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" Erich Fromm
"the cultural emphasis on endless consumption deflects attention from spiritual hunger. we are endlessly bombarded by messages telling us that our every need can be satisfied by material increase. artist barbara kruger created a work proclaiming 'i shop therefore i am' to show the way consumerism has taken over mass consciousness, making people think they are what they possess. while the zeal to possess intensifies, so does the sense of spiritual emptiness. because we are spiritually empty we try to fill up on consumerism. we may not have enough love but we can always shop" Bell Hooks
"organized religion has failed to satisfy spiritual hunger because it has accommodated secular demands, interpreting spiritual life in ways that uphold the values of a production-centered commodity culture. this is as true of the traditional christian church as it is of new age spirituality. it is no accident that so many famous new age spiritual teachers link their teachings to a metaphysics of daily life that extolls the virtues of wealth, privilege, and power" Bell Hooks
"when i speak of love i am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. i am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality. this hindu-moslem-christian-jewish-buddhist belief about ultimate reality is beautifully summed up in the first episode of saint john: 'let us love one another, for love is god and everyone that loveth is born of god and knoweth god'". Martin Luther King
"the mass media is the primary vehicle for the promotion and affirmation of greed; there is little information offered about the establishment and maintenance of meaningful relationships. if the will to accumulate is not already present in the television watcher or the movie-goer, it will be implanted by images that bombard the psyche with the message that consuming with others, not connection, should be our goal." Bell Hooks
"we cannot endure without love and there is no other way to the return of healing, comforting, harmonizing love than through total and complete forgiveness: if we want freedom and peace and the experience of love and being loved, we must let go and forgive." Eric Butterworth
"false notions of love teach us that it is the place where we feel no pain, where we will be in a state of constant bliss. we have to expose the falseness of these beliefs to see and accept the reality that suffering and pain do not end when we begin to love." Bell Hooks
" you have to trust that every friendship has no end, that a communion of saints exists among all those, living and dead, who have truly loved god and one another. you know from experience how real this is. those you have loved deeply and who have died live on in you, not just as memories but as real presences" Henri Nouwen
"without change, we cannot grow. our will to grow in spirit and truth is how we stand before life and death, ready to choose life" Bell Hooks
"love is our true destiny. we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone-we find it with another" Thomas Merton
Saturday, June 12, 2010
raindrops
In a desert you're standing
A silhouette in motion
On the glory afternoons in June I need you
Just like raindrops, just like raindrops
A silhouette in motion
On the glory afternoons in June I need you
Just like raindrops, just like raindrops
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
love, strength, growth
Tina: i feel better, thanks for talking, i guess sometimes like you said, communication is necessary
Me: im glad you feel better, and if anything bothers you ever, tell me
i will do my best to respect you and your needs
Tina: ye ma'am
Me: afterall i love you and cherish you
Tina:thank you, same to you darlin
Me: and wish to do as little harm as possible
Tina: you are a rock in my life, a diamond to say the least, and it means alot to me that we haven't let certain things come between us, as hard as it is sometimes, i do love you and want the best for you even if that is Matt, and I hope in time, if that is what it comes to, that I can accept it bcos I don't ever want emotions to get the better of it all
Me: thank you tina, that takes a very very VERY strong person, with a good heart,to be able to do and try to do something like that, and i hate that it has to be awkward and that it even is happening sometimes because i dont want to cause hurt to you
Tina: i think we have attracted each other in each our lives for a reason, and juvenile things are just juvenile, and emotions are just emotions, and hurt is hurt and maturity is maturity...things are messy and sticky and gooey, but what is anything if there isn't the good and the bad
Me: we have to have the bad to enjoy and not take for granted the good, our friendship has made it through a shit ton, i think and hope it can and will make it through any other trials and tribulations
Tina:yes it has, people think I am crazy for putting up with it, but most don't understand bcos they aren't in it, I am a fighter, I always have been, and these are the type of things that make me grow as a person, no one ever said it would be easy, this life here
Me: we are all crazy, we are all mad
Tina:touche
Me: i understand why people do not understand, it is hard until you are in the actual shoes, but your love has been proven to me, i know you truly care for me because of the way you have responded, and i hope you know how much i really love you
Tina: sometimes it makes me wanna cry bcos it really does hurt, but what's it worth crying over spilt beer? there are things that are more important to me than holding grudges and letting bitter feelings take over, and that is the underlying point of it all, somethings just aren't worth the tears and aren't worth the emotions, i can say that about alot of things, so it's not just you, it's just my carefree mentality on accepting losses
Me: well it is okay to cry and let it out, we all hurt one another, i have been seeing people post this quote on FB the past couple days, it says something like we hurt the ones that are closest to us
Tina: bcos like i said, what's it all worth, each day brings new things, new opportunities, and the past is in the past and all that is here is the present and the idea of the future..yes, that quote is a good one
Me: and it is true, and i wonder why, and its because we are closest to the ones we love
Tina: it's bcos the ones that are closest to us are the ones that are going to accept you for you, mistakes and all
Me: and we let them affect us, because they are a huge part of us
Tina: if people aren't willing to accept the whole of you, the hurt & the pain, then truly they aren't good for you
Me: it saddens me that i cause hurt to you though, and that you have to experience those intense feelings sometimes
Tina: well, it is a sad thing, but it's selfish tendencies, we are all selfish to a certain degree
Me: because i know those sudden intense moments, i know them well
Tina: that is something that i have learned throughout my life..i am someone who sometimes needs to be more selfish in times, but it's hard for me to be selfish..i am more selfless in that sense, always putting other's feelings and emotions before my own, thinking of what is right and what is wrong..there is a pshycological theory..altruism, I am sure you have read about it, studied it at times, but in biological determinism, altruistic tendencies is what life is about...sure, you associate yourself with your circle and those like you, but for you to really get ahead and succeed, we all must be selfish
Me: well its all about the balance
Tina: getting ahead and succeeding is based off of your own perception, you can apply it to alot of different degrees in life
Me: we are living this life for ourselves, therefore we must be selfish
Tina: you are born alone and die alone, everyone else is just an asset
Me: to be able to have and do what we want...exactly
Tina: and there are those who are going to love you no matter what, and there are those who are going to hurt you no matter what, and it all depends on the connection..is it worth it?...and in our case, it's worth it to me, the hurt and pain that is caused, is something that will hopefully be less then a memory in days to come
Me: well with all friendships, all relationships, family, friends, lovers, there is hurt, and there is pain, but what outweighs those in the end is all the good, so at some point i think we may look back at this and laugh, and we will be stronger in the end because of it, because when you are able to work through things with a person, that connection is only building, we are only becoming stronger, we will be able to face many more things
Tina: very true, it only makes us stronger
Me: we have had many ups and downs, but when i look back, i see all the laughs and smiles and love, because at the end thats what there is, the bad fades away, thanks for putting up with my bad side
Tina: bad isn't the right word, but whatever it is, that is what friends are for
Me: im glad you feel better, and if anything bothers you ever, tell me
i will do my best to respect you and your needs
Tina: ye ma'am
Me: afterall i love you and cherish you
Tina:thank you, same to you darlin
Me: and wish to do as little harm as possible
Tina: you are a rock in my life, a diamond to say the least, and it means alot to me that we haven't let certain things come between us, as hard as it is sometimes, i do love you and want the best for you even if that is Matt, and I hope in time, if that is what it comes to, that I can accept it bcos I don't ever want emotions to get the better of it all
Me: thank you tina, that takes a very very VERY strong person, with a good heart,to be able to do and try to do something like that, and i hate that it has to be awkward and that it even is happening sometimes because i dont want to cause hurt to you
Tina: i think we have attracted each other in each our lives for a reason, and juvenile things are just juvenile, and emotions are just emotions, and hurt is hurt and maturity is maturity...things are messy and sticky and gooey, but what is anything if there isn't the good and the bad
Me: we have to have the bad to enjoy and not take for granted the good, our friendship has made it through a shit ton, i think and hope it can and will make it through any other trials and tribulations
Tina:yes it has, people think I am crazy for putting up with it, but most don't understand bcos they aren't in it, I am a fighter, I always have been, and these are the type of things that make me grow as a person, no one ever said it would be easy, this life here
Me: we are all crazy, we are all mad
Tina:touche
Me: i understand why people do not understand, it is hard until you are in the actual shoes, but your love has been proven to me, i know you truly care for me because of the way you have responded, and i hope you know how much i really love you
Tina: sometimes it makes me wanna cry bcos it really does hurt, but what's it worth crying over spilt beer? there are things that are more important to me than holding grudges and letting bitter feelings take over, and that is the underlying point of it all, somethings just aren't worth the tears and aren't worth the emotions, i can say that about alot of things, so it's not just you, it's just my carefree mentality on accepting losses
Me: well it is okay to cry and let it out, we all hurt one another, i have been seeing people post this quote on FB the past couple days, it says something like we hurt the ones that are closest to us
Tina: bcos like i said, what's it all worth, each day brings new things, new opportunities, and the past is in the past and all that is here is the present and the idea of the future..yes, that quote is a good one
Me: and it is true, and i wonder why, and its because we are closest to the ones we love
Tina: it's bcos the ones that are closest to us are the ones that are going to accept you for you, mistakes and all
Me: and we let them affect us, because they are a huge part of us
Tina: if people aren't willing to accept the whole of you, the hurt & the pain, then truly they aren't good for you
Me: it saddens me that i cause hurt to you though, and that you have to experience those intense feelings sometimes
Tina: well, it is a sad thing, but it's selfish tendencies, we are all selfish to a certain degree
Me: because i know those sudden intense moments, i know them well
Tina: that is something that i have learned throughout my life..i am someone who sometimes needs to be more selfish in times, but it's hard for me to be selfish..i am more selfless in that sense, always putting other's feelings and emotions before my own, thinking of what is right and what is wrong..there is a pshycological theory..altruism, I am sure you have read about it, studied it at times, but in biological determinism, altruistic tendencies is what life is about...sure, you associate yourself with your circle and those like you, but for you to really get ahead and succeed, we all must be selfish
Me: well its all about the balance
Tina: getting ahead and succeeding is based off of your own perception, you can apply it to alot of different degrees in life
Me: we are living this life for ourselves, therefore we must be selfish
Tina: you are born alone and die alone, everyone else is just an asset
Me: to be able to have and do what we want...exactly
Tina: and there are those who are going to love you no matter what, and there are those who are going to hurt you no matter what, and it all depends on the connection..is it worth it?...and in our case, it's worth it to me, the hurt and pain that is caused, is something that will hopefully be less then a memory in days to come
Me: well with all friendships, all relationships, family, friends, lovers, there is hurt, and there is pain, but what outweighs those in the end is all the good, so at some point i think we may look back at this and laugh, and we will be stronger in the end because of it, because when you are able to work through things with a person, that connection is only building, we are only becoming stronger, we will be able to face many more things
Tina: very true, it only makes us stronger
Me: we have had many ups and downs, but when i look back, i see all the laughs and smiles and love, because at the end thats what there is, the bad fades away, thanks for putting up with my bad side
Tina: bad isn't the right word, but whatever it is, that is what friends are for
can i
can i fly into the clouds?
can i escape from all the chaos and commotion?
and be free amongst the birds.
can i escape from all the chaos and commotion?
and be free amongst the birds.
nostalgic
the intense feelings arise
as i lay hearing the emotions flow from the song
this shows me how i have grown
how i have come out from one of the hardest emotional times in my life
a different person
what once could never be imagined
is
how i have overcome
yet seeing another trial
and knowing i can find a way
and through it become
something different
everchanging
as i lay hearing the emotions flow from the song
this shows me how i have grown
how i have come out from one of the hardest emotional times in my life
a different person
what once could never be imagined
is
how i have overcome
yet seeing another trial
and knowing i can find a way
and through it become
something different
everchanging
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
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